Romance scams in the UK: how to spot a fake online partner

Quick answer

If someone you've only met online asks for money, it's a romance scam, however real the relationship feels. Never send money to someone you haven't met. Tell your bank straight away and report it to Action Fraud.

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How it works

Romance scammers build a fake identity, often with stolen photos, on dating sites and social media. Action Fraud says that at some point they pretend to be in urgent need of money and ask for help.

The relationship usually stays on email, text and phone calls and never moves to meeting in person. They give emotional reasons for needing money: a hospital bill, a travel emergency, a problem with customs. Police believe many cases go unreported, partly because of embarrassment. If you've been caught out, you're not alone, and reporting helps.

Red flags

  • A relationship that never moves to meeting in person
  • A very glamorous profile and fast declarations of love
  • A request to move off the dating site to personal email or text
  • Any request for money, whatever the reason
  • An emergency that needs money today

Example message

Scam example Don't reply, call back or tap anything in a message like this.
Unknown account
I can't believe it, my bag was stolen and I'm stuck at the airport. I hate asking, but could you send me some money to get home so we can finally meet? I'll pay you back.

What to do

  1. 1

    Stop sending money

    Don't send money to someone you haven't met, however convincing the story.

  2. 2

    Contact your bank immediately

    If you've paid, tell your bank and ask them to try to stop or recall the payment. In the UK you can call 159 to reach your bank's fraud team.

  3. 3

    Cut contact and keep records

    Stop replying. Save messages, profile names and payment details for the report.

  4. 4

    Protect your accounts

    If you shared personal details or photos, change passwords and watch for follow-up scams, including people offering to recover your money for a fee.

  5. 5

    Report it

    Report it to Action Fraud, online or by phone on 0300 123 2040.

Report it

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Why you got it

Scammers don't pick numbers and addresses at random. Names, phone numbers, home addresses and email addresses are easy to buy from people-search sites and data brokers, and they leak in breaches, which lets a caller or sender sound like they know you. Scammers also use details from public profiles and listings to make a fake persona feel like a match. Serus finds where your details are listed and removes them from the sites that hold them, and alerts you when your data shows up in a breach, so fewer scammers can reach you.

Frequently asked

How do I know if an online partner is a scammer?

Action Fraud's signs include a relationship that stays online and never leads to meeting in person, and a request for money for an emotional reason.

Should I keep chatting on the dating site?

Yes. Action Fraud advises keeping all communication on the dating site, rather than moving to personal email or social media.

I'm embarrassed. Should I still report it?

Yes. Police say many cases go unreported because of embarrassment. A report helps you and may help others.

Who do I tell first?

Your bank, straight away, then Action Fraud.

Sources

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