Online dating scams: how to spot a fake match before it costs you
Quick answer
A match who professes love fast, says they're overseas, wants to leave the dating app and then needs money is a romance scammer. Never send money, gift cards or crypto to someone you haven't met. Report them to the dating site, the FTC and IC3.
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How it works
Romance scammers use dating sites, social networks and chat rooms to find people. They build a fake profile, often with stolen photos, and put in weeks of warm, daily attention until you trust them.
The FTC describes the pattern: they declare love quickly, claim to be from the US but working or serving overseas, and push you off the dating site onto private chat. Then comes a reason they need money: an emergency, hospital bills, a plane ticket to visit you, or a customs fee.
They ask for payment in ways that are hard to trace or reverse: wire transfers, gift cards, reload cards or crypto. Some start with small asks and grow them. The goal is money, and sometimes your personal details for later use.
Red flags
- Professes love or deep feelings within days or weeks
- Claims to work or serve overseas, and can never meet or video chat
- Wants to move to private chat or another app straight away
- Has an emergency, a medical bill or a travel problem that needs money
- Asks for wire transfers, gift cards, reload cards or crypto
- Profile photos that look too polished, or a story that keeps changing
Example message
I've never felt like this about anyone. I'm stuck on the project abroad and my card was blocked. Can you send [amount] by gift card? I'll pay you back as soon as I'm home to see you. Please don't tell anyone, they won't understand.
What to do
- 1
Stop sending money
Don't wire money, buy gift cards, load reload cards or send crypto to someone you haven't met in person. The FTC warns you won't get it back.
- 2
Check the person
Run a reverse image search on their photos and ask for a live video call. A real match will agree. A scammer finds a reason not to.
- 3
If you already paid, call your bank or card issuer
Use the number on your card, tell them it was fraud and ask them to stop or reverse the payment. Keep receipts and chat screenshots.
- 4
Cut contact and block
Block them everywhere. Be wary of anyone who then contacts you offering to recover your money for a fee.
- 5
If you shared personal details, lock things down
Change passwords, turn on two-step verification and think about a credit freeze. See our guide on what to do after a data breach.
- 6
Report it
Report the profile to the dating site and file a report with the FTC and the FBI's IC3.
Report it
Check if your details are exposed with Serus
Scammers find your number and address on data brokers and people-search sites. Serus removes them.
Why you got it
Some scammers pick targets from public profiles. Others buy lists of names, emails and phone numbers from data brokers or reuse data from breaches. Once they have your name and number, they can check what's public about your life and shape their story around it. Serus finds where your phone number, address and email are listed and removes them, and alerts you when your details show up in a breach, so fewer scammers can reach you.
Frequently asked
How do I know if an online match is a scammer?
The biggest tells are fast declarations of love, an overseas story, a push to leave the dating app and any request for money. Ask for a live video call.
Is it a scam if they've never asked me for money?
It can still be one. Some scammers spend weeks building trust before the first ask, so watch for the other signs.
Can I get the money back?
Call your bank or card issuer right away. Transfers by gift card, wire and crypto are hard to reverse, but quick action gives the best chance.
Where do I report an online dating scammer?
To the dating site or app, to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and to the FBI's IC3.
Sources
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