Romance scams: how to spot a fake online love interest
Quick answer
If someone you only know online asks for money, gift cards, a transfer or crypto, it's a romance scam, however real the relationship feels. The FTC says that's true every time. Stop sending money, cut contact, and report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
- Comes by
- Social media, Text, App
- Last updated
How it works
Romance scammers start on dating apps, social media or a wrong-number text. They build a profile with someone else's photos and move fast: warm messages every day, talk of love within weeks, and a push to take the chat off the platform to private messaging.
They never meet in person. The FTC lists the usual excuses: they work overseas, they're in the military, or they can't travel. Then comes the money. The reason changes (a medical emergency, a phone card to keep chatting, a travel ticket to finally meet you), but the ask is always the same: send money by gift card, wire transfer or cryptocurrency, the payment types that are hard to reverse.
Some scammers send you a small amount first or invite you into a "can't-lose" investment, so a later request feels like a fair trade. What they want is your money, and sometimes your bank details or ID numbers too.
Red flags
- They say they love you within days or weeks, but they can't meet in person or on live video
- Their story keeps them overseas: oil rig, military deployment, business trip
- They want to move the chat from the dating app to private messaging quickly
- Their profile photos show up under another name in a reverse image search
- Any request for money by gift card, wire transfer or cryptocurrency
- A sudden emergency that only your money can fix
- Someone telling you to move your savings somewhere "safe" or into an investment they recommend
Example message
I hate asking, but my card is blocked while I'm abroad and I can't get home to see you. If you could send [amount] in gift cards today, I'll pay you back the moment I land. Please don't tell anyone, they won't understand us.
What to do
- 1
Stop sending money and cut contact
Don't send another payment, even a small one, and don't argue with them. Block them on the app or platform where you met.
- 2
If you paid, contact the payment company right away
Call your bank or card issuer, the transfer service or the gift card company and tell them it was a scam. Ask whether the payment can be stopped or reversed. Crypto is the hardest to recover, but report it anyway.
- 3
If you shared account or ID numbers, protect them
Tell your bank what you shared. If you gave a Social Security or driver's license number, follow the steps at IdentityTheft.gov. Change passwords you reused and turn on two-step verification.
- 4
Report it
Report it to the app or site where you met them and to the FTC. Reports help investigators spot patterns, even when your money can't be returned.
- 5
Talk to someone you trust
Scammers tell you to keep the relationship secret. Telling a friend or family member breaks that hold, and the FTC suggests listening if they're worried. Watch out for anyone who offers to get your money back for a fee.
Report it
Check if your details are exposed with Serus
Scammers find your number and address on data brokers and people-search sites. Serus removes them.
Why you got it
Scammers pick targets from public profiles, but they also use contact details from people-search sites and data breaches to find your phone number, email and city, and to make the story fit you. Serus finds the people-search sites and data brokers that list you and removes the listings, and alerts you when your details turn up in a breach, so fewer strangers can find and approach you. If you've already been hit, see what to do after a data breach.
Frequently asked
How do I know if an online love interest is real?
Someone real will meet you in person or on live video without excuses. The FTC advises a reverse image search of their photos and talking to someone you trust about the relationship.
Is it a romance scam if they've never asked for money?
Not yet, but fast declarations of love, refusing to meet and moving off the app are common early signs. The money request usually comes later.
Can I get my money back?
Sometimes. Contact your bank, card issuer or the transfer or gift card company right away and ask to stop or reverse the payment. The FTC says recovery isn't guaranteed, so speed matters.
Why do romance scammers ask for gift cards or crypto?
Those payments are fast and hard to reverse. The FTC says a love interest who asks for money that way is a scammer.
Sources
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